Who is setting your fire?

"How lucky you are that in your life you have the opportunity to make changes, and that you are making the changes when it is perfect for you in your life at whatever age or time that may be"
 --B. Moore

One of the reasons that I have taken the path that I have taken is that I have allowed so many people to influence me and direct my direction. Many times it has been due to a lack of confidence or a will to stand up for myself. I imagine that this is the case for many people today. In general we often lack the ability to overcome the social conversation around us. But it is possible. 

I would not necessarily change the past two years, even though it would have saved me countless struggles, trials, failures, and debt... But in looking back and thinking about what it cost me, I also can look back and see what it gave me, the success, triumphs, skills, knowledge, and so much more has come from my motivation to prove everyone wrong about their perceptions of me and my direction, or ultimate goal. While that motivation is still motivation, I hope in moving forward that I can utilize my drive for motivation for the sake of myself, rather than these other people. 

To believe that I will take this knowledge and apply it daily would be to assume that I cannot be human. But. In fact I am becoming more human in my awareness of what has driven me in the past, and what I hope will drive me in the future.

People are always going to say something. It is their human nature to do so. Whether from their own projections of their perceptions or from a lack of self-awareness on their part. It is not my job to change them; at least not directly. BUT, it is my job to save myself the turmoil that may come from their choices. I can still remember the day a lady said to me "what makes you think you can do that job you are so young, you don't know anything." That anguish that has since been the fire that burns within, needs to at some point burn out and allow new motivation and fire to set my ways.

What fire do you need to let burn out? Why do you continue to feed it? How might your life change if you stopped feeding the fire set by others, rather than the fire you set for yourself? These are questions I ask myself and I have still yet to come to a response for them. I will though. And that is what keeps my own set fire slowly growing.

Keep it bright. Keep it positive. 


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