Mornings with Bee

For awhile now I have been in transition. I have been wondering where my path will lead me this time. And I think I have come to a decision. At first I was thinking of changing up this blog completely, like you followers have seen in the past. Then I remembered the meaning of this blog. I remembered what it stands for in my life journey. I decided I could not change it up completely. Rather I could take a timeout from it and create a new blog for this new journey. And from time to time I could post on this blog. NOMADICBEE. I created this alter ego, this alias, this pen name, etc etc etc. When I was wondering. When I was traveling the tracks less traveled. When I was finding my way, when I was moving around. When I was going to college, creating, defining, and then redefining myself. I am and always will be her, Nomadicbee. This word, sometimes one and sometimes spaced out to two, is me and is part of me. And I will never let it go completely because how can anyone let themselves go c...

We live in an amazing world. A wold that can make us feel so connected to everything else, the social networks that consume our lives, the convenience of texting and having the entire universe at our fingertips. What we fail to remember so often is that in this world of go go go fast pace, and convenience, we get lost and can feel so alone in a crowd. The things that we thought we once knew for sure are now so uncertain. The things we felt prepared for are now unprepareable. And the world can move so fast around us, and we can feel overwhelmed. So what do we do then? We have a few choices and some might be better than others. We can choose to panic, and curl up in a ball and wait for the chaos to pass. Because eventually it may pass, and be swept under the rug. We can face it, face the chaos head on and tackle it to the ground... And does it need to be tackled? Or we can step out of the world for a second, and focus on the self. We can step back into our own shoes and appreciate the st...

Sometimes the unexpected turns into the expected. And sometimes the positive life we lead is more difficult we challenge than we first thought. Did I bite off more than I could chew? My mouth is pretty full and that explains my absence from my blog. And I promise it it not with laziness is have traded writing. Rather the multitude of as much as possible brainstorming. Everyday I am thinking of something new. Trying, I mean doing, something new. I am learning the ropes of the tight wire I walk on called my life. And what is so great is that beneath my tight wire I have a huge blanket of support from family and friends. So when I fall, and in the last two months I have fallen, I get right back up again and start again. Sometimes I start back where I started and sometimes I have a detour route back to the place I fell. And I go back a minute, a second, an hour, or maybe more from that falling point to figure out what I can do better the next time. Because in life we are all going to fall....

Driving on highway 580 the other day through the rolling hills of California I was in the process of doing some of my best thinking. And with all the space that was available I started thinking "how nice it is that I live in space." I know a lot of people that live in tunnels, its what we call tunnel vision. And I occasionally lived there too. And I still find myself every once in awhile going back into that tunnel. It is safe, it is protective, it is hidden. And while it is all of those things, it is also constricting. And I can feel the shifts in my physic when I go back into the tunnel, I slouch, my shoulders curl inward, my head lowers, going smaller to fit in the tunnel. Because when I (we) go into our tunnels we talk all our shtuff with us. And for some of us, not all of us, we take a lot with us. And it gets so crowded. And when I was driving, I noticed the space. The open everlasting further and further and further available space. And all the shtuff that I have can b...

Today was super hot out in the central valley of California. And my sister needed to stop at the cemetery on the way home to pay her respects to a family who was laying to rest their grandmother, mother, and friend. And it just so happened to be the place that a dear friend's boyfriend rests peacefully. So while my sister went to the little chapel after she dropped me off at his headstone, I sat there in the grass talking. I have always been fond of cemeteries, and for very important reasons that make sense for me. And we all have those things that make sense for us, and while others might not always understand, it is for us to know and understand. Cemeteries are my peaceful place. And today while talking to the angel I realized why I enjoy them so much. No one bothers me at them, I am left alone to be with my thoughts. I can cry and no one will ask me what is wrong. I can talk to myself, while talking to someone who will listen and be patient. And all the cemeteries I have ...

In this day and age we are so lucky. With the technology we have and the ability to document so much of our life. Some may think its crazy, I think we are so blessed for the opportunity to look back sometimes and see just how far we have come. And keep in mind, I am a huge believer of the fact that it is where we are going that is important and how we move forward from our past and where we have been. And still, seeing the growth is important in that movement forward into our future. I deactivated Facebook for awhile, and it was so pleasant. I reactivated to connect with my many new friends all over the world and for the purpose of networking. And just in going through a few of the pictures that I had up there that I either put up or others had tagged me, I can see so much change! And I think it is so cool! I think it is amazing what really putting your mind to work in positive ways can do for your whole outlook on life. I am having so much fun just living that it is no longer about t...

Life is really all about what you focus on. What we focus on. It is about the energy we release into the environment and allow to be consumed by those around us. I have a quote as the screensaver on my phone and I'd like to share why I have it on there as a reminder everyday to myself to be the best that I can be so that others might also be the best that they can be. “ Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And ...

I was recently asked if I am always like this. This referring to positive and happy. And the truth is, no I have not always been this positive and this happy. And the other part of the truth is that I made a change to be this way. And its a change I made for myself. And in the aftermath of the change I have been the happiest person ever and it is a true blessing! And here's the story.... I woke up today. After a night of sleeping. And during that night I was breathing, dreaming and my heart was beating. At no point during the night did I have to remind myself that I needed to breath, or tell my heart to beat. Or tell my brain to create dreams or be processing or working doing its thing. All of those things, and so many others, were occurring while I was sound asleep. And then I woke up this morning. I woke up alive. I woke up with a purpose. A purpose to live life as happy and positive as I could. And that focus, to be happy and positive is life changing! Negative things still ha...

I have recently gone to a conference for about a month. And upon my return my world was completely different. The colors had changed. The sounds had changed. The feelings around my environment had changed. The sense of the world around me had changed. And it had all changed for the better. The tunnel vision that I had for so long been living in was now opened so wide that I was seeing things, hearing things, feeling things I had never felt before, at least not that I can remember. I might have seen, heard, or felt them before the tunnel vision came and took over. And I feel so energized. I feel weightless because instead of having all the SHIT piled high on me through this tight narrow tunnel I can now put it all in a much bigger space. The other day I was driving down a road I had driven at least 100 times. I could probable drive it with my eyes shut, and now thinking about it I probably have been driving it with my eyes completely closed. And this particular day I was driving that ...

A man cuts you off on the freeway, you blow up speed up and ride his back bumper. You scream and yell, pass him and flip him off. That man just got the news that his father had a heartattack and was being rushed to the hospital. That man also had yelled at his father for hours the night before. Imagine, it could be the last conversation he ever had with the man that stood by his side for years. We live by inference. We mind-read. We assume. We know only what we observe. And beneath those observations are the truth and the drivers to how others respond to the environment. We have no idea what is going on in the man mentioned above's life. We have no idea how his morning went. How is day is going. And where he might be headed. Yes, it is so easy to be angry and mad at the fact that he cut you off. And we would all be lying if we said, "I would never cut someone off, no matter how bad my day is going." Don't kid yourself. Now imagine, the feeling of anger get a pictu...

 There has been a lot of new changes in my life. And some of them have been better than others. Some of them are rough... and it is these rough ones that really make the lessons learned all that much more important. I know it has been so long since I have posted on here... and the posts before today are important to be because they got me to where I am today. And I am happy to say that the posts that will follow today will be so powerful in a different way. The changes I have made in my own life are changes I hope to share with the world. The changes I have made in my daily routine are changes I hope to share with others because I have seen the difference that these changes can make in my life and I know 100% that these changes can be the difference that people need in their own life. And it all comes from within, it all comes from one place and one state of mind which is the umbrella of everything that happens in life. What are you focusing on? What do you focus on? Focus on what...

So I am currently taking a break from my study of Ancient Rome for my totally awesome midterm tomorrow. And as I continue to study and express excitement over the small amounts of information that I can recall and remember I am becoming more and more skeptical of the study of HISTORY. Yes, I am beginning to wonder at the very very very last minute, end of my time in school that history is not really factual. Just because it has occurred does not mean that it is a truth of what has happened. That saying "lost in translation" has a HUGE impact on any sort of history being read, interpreted, or analyzed. Not only are we looking at a history written either recently or better yet, in the very distant past. We are reading the interpretations of someone else. We are reading the WHO, WHAT, WHEN, HOW, &&&& WHY that was most important to them. We are reading an interpretation of the facts. But we all know that facts get "LOST IN TRANSLATION." Let's use som...