the caveMAN dialect
Today I came across a picture of a young woman, with the caption "Ladies, the smarter you are, the more likely you are to be single." Well that is JUST great! If being a student in a career focused program is not stressful enough, now being smart means being single [or so they say]. I have been told a few times that education is a turn off, no man wants a smart girl. Come ON!? Seriously?!
So I sought out the opinion of a guy, we will call him Jason. Apparently education, smart-ness, or career is relative to the individual. I guess that means that it is not an absolute... Just because a woman is smart does not mean that she is going to be forever single. Rather, she is going to be more aware of her needs and meeting the needs of her partner. Jason actually is the combination of multiple guys [at least a combination of their perspective].
What it came down to is guys like it simple. Well boys, guys, dudes, men, etc. I hate to break it to you but girls are a little less simple. Jason responded to a comment I made with: "me tonto...you pretty...you dance?" I could not help but laugh. They want things to be simple: yes. no. ok. sure. maybe. i like you. Yet so many girls want to give those terms more because they want their feelings/ words to be validated. Whether or not it is how girls are wired, the right relationship will show both individuals wanting to meet each others needs.
The caveMAN dialect might work for two people, it might work and then it might stop working. At some point is one partner going to want more from the relationship [being two people]. Is the shortness and often perceived lack of interest, going to last?
And really, maybe ladies who are smarter, just are not into the caveMAN dialect, so then yes they will continue to be single until the right guy speaks the right dialect. Therefore, speaking the same language is not about being smart, it is about being there: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and challenging for each other.
For myself. I have tried the caveMAN dialect, and it is just not for me. Even though the guy may been amazing, I just do not feel like myself speaking like tonto. Now I understand and see the importance of finding a common dialect between two people. BUT. Also feeling comfortable in the dialect we choose to talk. When I was doing the caveMAN dialect, I was missing the importance of who I am as a person. While yes, it was simple, it was lacking in my own personal needs. I understand that speaking in a smart ass dialect is NOT the answer, it is about finding the words that two people can respect and cherish as valid. The caveMAN dialect was not meeting me in any matter what so ever, I felt num and honestly useless. It was missing the substance, that I find so important and desire in a relationship [acquaintances, friends, strangers, family members, lovers, partners, spouses, professionals].
What can so often be difficult, is the caveMAN in disguise to get to know the WOMAN. It works until it does not work*.
I guess I can hope that for every caveMAN out there, there is a caveWOMAN for him. AND. For every WOMAN out there, there is a MAN for her.
*not to be confused as just: ONE bad day, ONE difficult discussion, ONE caveMAN discussion. It is when the caveMAN dialect becomes the pattern, becomes the norm, becomes the expectation.
So I sought out the opinion of a guy, we will call him Jason. Apparently education, smart-ness, or career is relative to the individual. I guess that means that it is not an absolute... Just because a woman is smart does not mean that she is going to be forever single. Rather, she is going to be more aware of her needs and meeting the needs of her partner. Jason actually is the combination of multiple guys [at least a combination of their perspective].
What it came down to is guys like it simple. Well boys, guys, dudes, men, etc. I hate to break it to you but girls are a little less simple. Jason responded to a comment I made with: "me tonto...you pretty...you dance?" I could not help but laugh. They want things to be simple: yes. no. ok. sure. maybe. i like you. Yet so many girls want to give those terms more because they want their feelings/ words to be validated. Whether or not it is how girls are wired, the right relationship will show both individuals wanting to meet each others needs.
The caveMAN dialect might work for two people, it might work and then it might stop working. At some point is one partner going to want more from the relationship [being two people]. Is the shortness and often perceived lack of interest, going to last?
And really, maybe ladies who are smarter, just are not into the caveMAN dialect, so then yes they will continue to be single until the right guy speaks the right dialect. Therefore, speaking the same language is not about being smart, it is about being there: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and challenging for each other.
For myself. I have tried the caveMAN dialect, and it is just not for me. Even though the guy may been amazing, I just do not feel like myself speaking like tonto. Now I understand and see the importance of finding a common dialect between two people. BUT. Also feeling comfortable in the dialect we choose to talk. When I was doing the caveMAN dialect, I was missing the importance of who I am as a person. While yes, it was simple, it was lacking in my own personal needs. I understand that speaking in a smart ass dialect is NOT the answer, it is about finding the words that two people can respect and cherish as valid. The caveMAN dialect was not meeting me in any matter what so ever, I felt num and honestly useless. It was missing the substance, that I find so important and desire in a relationship [acquaintances, friends, strangers, family members, lovers, partners, spouses, professionals].
What can so often be difficult, is the caveMAN in disguise to get to know the WOMAN. It works until it does not work*.
I guess I can hope that for every caveMAN out there, there is a caveWOMAN for him. AND. For every WOMAN out there, there is a MAN for her.
*not to be confused as just: ONE bad day, ONE difficult discussion, ONE caveMAN discussion. It is when the caveMAN dialect becomes the pattern, becomes the norm, becomes the expectation.
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